Life Is A Verb
Action changes everything, but sometimes so does inaction—just not the way you want things to change.
2024 was a difficult year for me.
During the year, I lost a long-time client that contributed a large portion of my business income. It was the equivalent of Sterling Cooper losing Lucky Strike in the Mad Men series.
It hurt.
For months, however, I knew it was coming. And I did nothing.
It sent me into shock. And depression. But instead of rising to the occasion, I continued to do nothing.
Two days before I lost that client, my girlfriend of four years asked me to move out. Our relationship had been strained for weeks. I knew it was coming also. I did nothing about it. At least not during the window when doing anything would have worked. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too little, too late. She’d lost attraction to me months before.
I mention these events to illustrate the importance of action.
It’s easy to do life half-assed. It’s easy to do the bare minimum of the work we’re tasked with. Especially when that work is not a part of your personal identity and narrative.
It’s easy to do the bare minimum at interpersonal relationships. Especially when doing more means facing up to our character flaws and fears (mine being a tendency to do things half-assed.)
Life, at least a good life, is a verb.
It means doing something. It means doing anything until you know what the most important things are. Then doing those things. The do is the important part.
Looking back on 2024, I should have done two things with my lost client.
First, assuming I wanted to keep working with this business, I should have provided excellence. Somewhere during the 7-year relationship, however, I opted for the minimum level of service to maintain the contract.
Second, knowing that the contract was threatened, I should have taken action to replace the income before it was lost. Especially considering what a large chunk of my revenue it accounted for. It was negligence.
I should have done a lot more with my relationship also.
When we get complacent, we stop doing. We sit still. We don’t improve.
And that’s what I did. I stopped dating my girlfriend. I stopped taking her on small micro-adventures. I failed to invest in us. And I lost the attraction she had for me.
I became boring.
I say it all the time, Action Changes Everything. But sometimes, so can inaction. It’s just that the change is not the kind of change you want.
So for 2025, here are three actions to create positive change in your work and in your relationships.
Actions For Excellence at Work:
Regardless of what you do for work, develop a personal identity that’s based on delivering excellence no matter the task.
If you don’t love your work, take concrete steps toward delivering something you do love.
Stop planning. Start doing. Stop waiting. Start doing. Stop thinking. Start doing. It’s when you act that plans take shape, results build, and thinking gets very clear.
Actions For Excellence in your Personal Relationships:
Schedule at least two micro-adventures each month. They don’t need to be elaborate, but should break the monotony and routine and create shared memories.
Set a daily reminder to do one unexpected, thoughtful action for at least one of your personal relationships.
Schedule a monthly relationship check-in to openly discuss what’s working, what isn’t, and specific actions to maintain attraction and connection. For this, the Relationship Deck from Best Self can be a fun way to keep it informal, yet effective.
2024 served as a stark reminder that inaction can be as transformative as action - just not in the way we desire. Through the loss of both a major client and a significant relationship, I learned that excellence demands consistent effort and investment. The bare minimum leads to maximum loss. Life's quality is determined not by what we plan to do, but by what we actually do. Whether in business or love, the principle remains: action changes everything, creates opportunities, and maintains connections. Complacency, on the other hand, quietly erodes everything we value.